The results are in! The survey cards that were distributed with each and every "Cinema Strange 10th Anniversary Novelty Product" have yielded some very surprising and insightful data. The Cinema Strange fanbase never ceases to surprise the staid analyst, collating numbers in his laboratory late into the evening. Here we go!
1. Have you ever shot a handgun?
Ninety-something percent said "no".
2. Have you ever eaten a rabbit pie?
Sixty-something percent said "no".
3. How many fingers am I holding up?
About seventy percent said "yes"!
4. Are tortoises wise, in general, or just when they're old?
About thirty percent said "only when they're old".
5. I'm an alien from deep space. Or perhaps an angry ape.
One hundred percent said "yes"!!!
6. When do you like to go to bed?
I've got one undecided person here, but most everyone else said "no".
7. How many pets do you have?
One hundred percent said "yes"!
Now, according to the second part of the survey, about two-thirds of the respondents were balding members of the opposite sex who could not get a date, not even with an animal or very ugly person before they experienced the music of Cinema Strange. The smaller group of respondents merely admitted to being members of the opposite sex.
And lastly, when thanked for their input for this important study, one-hundred percent of those surveyed said "yes". Indeed!